The things we say, the things we post.....

(Disclaimer: This is a super long post. If you aren't up for reading the whole thing, I don't blame you. The heart of the matter lies in the last three paragraphs.)

Facebook (and other social media venues) is an interesting place. On one side, it's a magical place where you can reconnect with old friends - and on the other, it's a dangerous place where opinions are thrown around like facts and disagreements flow freely in gravity-free cyberspace with no face-to-face ramifications to ground them.  I learned long ago to keep most serious thoughts or opinions out of statuses and that very little good comes from disagreeable comments - no matter how deserved they might seem to be. That being said, sometimes I find I can't sit still, I can't stay quiet. But like I said, facebook is a dangerous place, so here we are.

There's a lot I could say on this subject - like why are so many posts on facebook negative? Why do people spend so much time trolling illegitimate sites and sharing them as truth? I could talk about the mob mentality and false sense of being right that comes from posting on Facebook when no one disagrees with you. But today, because I saw one too many posts today that broke my heart and made my blood pressure rise at the same time, I need to write about the things we say that dehumanize others. But first, let me give a little background....

I saw one of those ecards on facebook yesterday. You know, the ones with a vintage drawing and clever saying. Except this time, the saying wasn't clever - it was unkind. The text, in a sarcastic and classless way, described frustration in paying taxes that go to programs to help the poor and needy. I was sad to see people I knew 'liking' the picture, sharing it and throwing in the occasional "lol true that!'. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

First, I don't really understand being so frustrated by helping those that are less fortunate. Is the tax system perfect? No. Is it hard when after taxes your paycheck is way less than you expected? Absolutely. I get it, I really do. I live it.  Could the tax system be more fair and more efficient? I'm certain it could be, but that's certainly not the fault of those in poverty. Moral and Christian duty aside (including ancient and modern scripture that tells us to help the needy and that where much is given much is required), complaining about some (SOME) of your taxes going to help the poor is no different than if a wealthy person didn't want their tax money going to public schools or roads because their children go to private school and they fly everywhere in their private jet. It's fairly narrow-minded when you really think about it.

The accusation that all poor people are lazy shows a lack of compassion and understanding. Are some poor people lazy? Sure, but so are some rich people. And, of course, many (on both sides) are extremely hard workers. The truth is, however, that a good number of us are born into similar circumstances that we'll carry for the rest of our lives. Many rich people inherited their wealth never having to work hard for it - just like many, if not most, poor people inherit poverty. Most of us inherited neither, but inherited great opportunities and stability. Because of that we underestimate what it takes to break generational cycles of poverty. (This comes back to the difference between equality of opportunity and equality of circumstance which I won't go into here, but I talked about in a past blog post here.)  We tend to act like we would do the right and respectable thing under any circumstance, but the truth is that unless you've been in that situation you can not say for certain what you would do. Your background would be different. Your abilities would be different. Your circumstance - and thus opportunities - would be different.  If faced with the decision to work two or three jobs to provide for your family and never see your children, or use the welfare system for a while and be there for your kids, the decision would undoubtedly be harder to make than we sometime assume. And who's to say which decision is right? Instead of judging, we'd be better off remaining grateful that we aren't in that type of situation and focusing on being thankful for what we have.

Do some people milk the government system? Yes. Some people even take unfair advantage of the church's welfare system. The people aren't perfect and neither are the programs. I'm not saying that it's okay for people to cheat the system, I'm just issuing a reminder that not everyone cheats the system. Is it fair to judge everyone in that situation by the actions of a few? And the truth of the matter is that we can't control that, but we can control ourselves and how we speak about and treat others.

Before I continue let me just say that this is just one example of this type of issue. In other words, I'm not just talking about poverty. Also, I know that good people make social media mistakes. I'm not saying that anyone who shares a frustration or opinion on facebook is a bad person. I know that we all sometimes seem malicious when we don't mean to be - which is one of many reasons that I think we would all benefit by paying more attention to what we say/post and how we say it. I'm also not saying that opinions should never be shared on social media sites. What I'm saying is that we need to pause and think about REAL people and show respect accordingly. Growing up most of us were encouraged to think before we speak. Now we need to think before we post.

Stereotypes have likely existed as long as human ego has - but social media has them running even more rampant. It seems like any time I browse my newsfeed I see an ecard of some kind with a sweeping generalization about something or someone. Suddenly we can endorse things we would never actually say because in all reality it would be completely inappropriate to do so. Jokes are made at the expense of large groups of people - many times groups who are suffering in some way. But they don't seem like attacks because they are generalized or don't use vulgar language. Don't be deceived, however. This type of language is as prejudice and unkind as any other slur or discrimination. They all do the same thing - they dehumanize people.

When we use dehumanizing language (whether it be through discriminatory slurs, generalizations, or jokes) we put a barrier between ourselves and our selected group of people - a barrier that helps us feel justified in what we are saying. The barrier we create with our language strips the group of people of who they are. We forget they are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, artists, thinkers, business owners, animal lovers, foodies -  PEOPLE, children of God. Dehumanizing language takes away their faces, their hearts. Suddenly, they become singular - identified only by the one thing you dislike or struggle with: illegal, religiously zealous, liberal, gay, on welfare etc. When we use dehumanizing language we can put them in a box where they are all the same and where we can forget about their suffering and focus on ourselves.

The truth about these types of posts and this type of language is that it says far more about your character (or lack thereof) than it does about your political affiliation. Just like our words have power, our posts have power. What we choose to put on our facebook wall (or elsewhere on social media) is similar to what we would choose to hang on our living room wall - it says something about us, who we are, what we value. Would you hang a picture in your living room that said something discriminatory about impoverished people, immigrants or any other group?  How would you feel if someone posted something negative about your race, religion, job, economic or family situation? When your 'share'  or 'like' a discriminatory joke on facebook it is broadcast to the world - YOUR world.  It becomes a part of who you are - whether you are the original author or not. You are from then on identified with a certain type of thought or belief. And those who see it then attach it to you, your family, and yes, your religion. We don't get to choose when we want to represent our beliefs and when we just want to vent or have a good laugh. We are ALWAYS representing our beliefs. And, because I'm not sure there's any nicer way to say it, we should know better. For those who share my religious beliefs, and undoubtedly for many who don't as well, we know that every soul is of great worth. We know that we are all children of God. We know He loves ALL of us. We know that, despite our differences, we should be respectful in our speech and actions. We know that if we took the time to get to know people, really know them, we would understand their circumstances better. We could love them. We know we have been blessed and have been charged with helping others. We know we should speak kindly - not only in the words we say, but in what we post.